Tag Archives: mourning

nothing

Social media is a strange landscape, and my desire to share and my ability to open myself ebbs and flows. In anger or other moments of strong feeling, I fling myself into the arena. In moments of dissociation, in the … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

eleven months

Eleven months and no sister. I did not think I could bear this place, and perhaps last year I could not. What was weighty then is no lighter now, but my muscles are more accustomed to the strain. And after … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment

circle

I am drafting my grad school statement of purpose while listening to Zach Sobiech’s Clouds. The last time I looped this song was the morning after Talia died, lying on my stomach on the dining room floor of our friends’ … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments

a quiet line

Someone in my social network recently brushed against death.  I read news of her recovery with relief and bitterness.  I thought, how close we came to each other, our two families.  Huddled on either side of a quiet line. I … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

one month (2)

  One month out, and I am beginning to understand your death cannot be sweet like Dapa’s. I woke this morning after a repeated nightmare: I missed you by five minutes, forgot you were dying in my bedroom and when … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Spring

I’m so glad it’s spring.  Spring means life–life rising from the cradle of Talia’s gone-ness. The beauty of that contrast stirs my very core. I feel a pulse coursing through me–live, live, live. Some moments these last few weeks have … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

HOW TO HELP ME WHILE I’M IN THE THROES OF GRIEF (and probably other people, too)

Caveat: 1.This is not an especially polite document. I have an incredible amount of anger (part of grief, for anyone operating under the mistaken assumption that I am simply sad right now), and it’s mostly buried under a massive coat … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , | Leave a comment