Category Archives: Uncategorized

Overlay

I watched the Olympics last night with Eli. I’ve been equally excited and apprehensive about this year’s games; during the last Winter Olympics, Talia was dying in the hospital. From our couch in Portland, my memory played flashes of a … Continue reading

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Wisp of thought

Little sister, you were so close you could have been my shadow. You were neither separate from me nor fully attached, but always near, your life growing next to mine, the two of us entwined. At 28, 23 begins to … Continue reading

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Reflections on a stressful day

I know more about anxiety than the average person, more about neurology, more about the neurology of anxiety, of triggers, of fight and flight and freeze.   My anxiety is a gift that lets me understand, in my very body, … Continue reading

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Memories of Saba

My dad’s dad, my Saba, died on Friday.  I wrote the following from the Seattle airport, en route to Vancouver, BC, where my cousins sat compiling thoughts and memories to memorialize Saba in a speech. 1: As a little girl … Continue reading

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nothing

Social media is a strange landscape, and my desire to share and my ability to open myself ebbs and flows. In anger or other moments of strong feeling, I fling myself into the arena. In moments of dissociation, in the … Continue reading

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Feb 20, 2016

If you don’t dissociate your sister dies so you checked way out on the 11th and aren’t coming back till it’s safe Feelings don’t exist, but then neither does anything else. Must be why I keep thinking “I am nothing” … Continue reading

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When does the end begin?

When does the end begin? Is it January 15, 2014, when you decided on surgery? Later in the month, when you scheduled surgery? The day you left for surgery? The day of the operation itself?  When you stopped breathing? Sometime … Continue reading

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