First term of graduate school

In which I wake up in the 7’s every morning and feel oppressively tired by 8 in the evening.

In which there are a minimum of 3 word documents and 3-7 articles open on my computer screen at any given time.

In which I use a planner for the first time in my life.  And I make (and obsessively consult) a weekly to-do list.  And a wall calendar of due dates.

In which I begin scheduling social time in my planner.

In which I regularly cry while reading for class.  Because the Americans with Disabilities Act.  Because people in my field understand the soul-crushing ramifications of poverty.  Because it’s miraculous and just soul-brimming when children with special needs get their needs met.  Because here are all these people who understand, who love the difficult kids.  And I’m a sap.

In which a memoir about traumatic brain injury triggers me so intensely I think I’ve contracted the stomach flu.

In which I begin to learn about Autism.

In which I discover I can take spiders out of my house in cups. Much more than being in grad school, this convinces me I am growing up.

In which I buy and care for a plant, and it does not die.


About rayajen

I am a high-strung, fast-talking introvert. I was raised (and live) in the Pacific Northwest, in a loud, Jewish family. I love trees, and tea, and words. My sister, Talia, died in February, 2014, at the age of 23, and now I carry that loss, that identity. I am Talia’s sister. Please feel free to share my work, but link back to my page, or contact me with questions. I can be reached at
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